Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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