Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
