so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
