Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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