Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
