we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
