I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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