that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
