Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize