you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
