mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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