if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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