I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
