I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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