This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
