"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
