New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
