Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
