We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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