who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize