Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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