They should really pass out barf bags in church
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's blow job season.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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