the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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