also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
