I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
