What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
