That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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