When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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