i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
