So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
