the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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