i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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