Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
