Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize