On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
