Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize