He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
