Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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