he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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