i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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