I'm laying in your front yard are you home
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
