you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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