On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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