when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
