i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
