this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
