i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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