the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
