What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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