Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
