i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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