i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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