Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
