I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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