how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
