i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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