carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
