"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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