just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
