Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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