why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need water and some morals
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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