I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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