gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
