A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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