I heard we made out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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