You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize