is your mom at the bar?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
